


Surrender

by FairyMagicRainbow



Category: Fleabag (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22546681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyMagicRainbow/pseuds/FairyMagicRainbow
Summary: Six months after they left each other at the bus stop, there's another wedding.
Relationships: Belinda/Fleabag (Fleabag), Claire/Fleabag (Fleabag), Fleabag/Priest (Fleabag)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic please be gentle!
> 
> What did the priest want to say all those times he was interrupted? I feel like these two have unfinished business.

Chapter 1

"It's fine, I don't _need_ any help thank you!" Claire glares at her sister over the top of her champagne cocktail.

"Cool, it's just that I could-"

"I said I'm fine! It's all under control. Everything's arranged, it'll be a nice, efficiently run event".

"Claire, it's your wedding day, not an event!"

"I am aware of that thank you. Anyway it's all done, ok?"

Fleabag nods, smiling, and turns her attention back to her enormous glass of wine.

"Oh and your dress has arrived", Claire continues, tapping furiously on her phone.

"Really, can I see it?"

"You'll see it on Saturday morning. It's lovely. You'll love it. Well you'd better love it because it's what you're wearing and that's it".

"Sounds lovely".

"It is!"

Claire looks at Fleabag sympathetically. "Sorry...bit frantic with getting everything ready, and Klare doesn't fly in until Friday. And still trying to deal with Martin so....."

"Thought that was all sorted?"

"Well it is, he agreed to the quickie divorce, but I had to admit adultery and give him the house but he just won't go away and....anyway never mind! How about you? Any news?"

"God no". Fleabag grimaces and knocks back the rest of her glass of red. "Just behaving myself, running the cafe, you know - not going to church...."

"Christ - have you not seen him then?"

"Oh you mean the man who dumped me at a bus stop twice, tried to fuck me in a confessional, made me fall in love with him and then chose a supernatural being over me? No I haven't seen him".

"Right. Not met anyone else then?"

"Um...yeah. I was seeing someone for a little bit there. But that's finished now".

"Oh really? What does he do?"

"He's an altar boy".

"Oh for god's sake!"

"Ha ha no just some guy I met at the gym. Works in marketing or something. He was nice - he just wasn't - you know-"

"Do you want to see him, I mean have you thought about getting in touch to, I don't know...."

"Every day. I think about him every day. Happy now?"

They sit staring at their drinks.

"Well look I just wanted to say um....well....thank you. You've been really good at helping with the wedding and keeping Godmother at bay....so thank you."

"That's ok. I'm happy for you Claire".

Claire puts her hand over Fleabag's. "I just wish I could do something for you".

"I'm fine. I'm always fine".

Claire smiles. "I know".

Fleabag stands up and grabs her purse. "Right I'm off to the bar - same again? And have you changed your mind about that stripper? Come on - this is your hen do!"

"It is not a hen do it is a pre-wedding lunch".

"Is that why there's only the two of us here?" 

"Well I just don't want a big deal ok?"

"Cool. Just as well. The only booking they had left for strippers was hot priest and I don't think I would have survived it".

Claire throws her head back and laughs. Fleabag loves that she's the only one that can make her do that. Except, these days, for Klare of course.

Claire watches her sister walk up to the bar and instantly start flirting with the barman. She takes out her phone and scrolls for a number she hasn't used for a long time.

_________________________________________________

It's Saturday morning at a _lovely_ hotel in the city and Fleabag is standing in front of an oversized mirror while Claire adjusts her bridesmaid dress. And yes, it really is lovely. A long, Grecian style golden silk dress and very ornate high heeled sandals make her look like a 1940's movie star.

"Wow you've really come through for me sis. I look so good!!"

"Yes well I said you would, didn't I. Anyway never mind that, where's Godmother? She's supposed to be here for hair and makeup and I can't be stressed out today. OK??"

"Yeah, sure, I'll go and find her..."

With that, the door swings open and Godmother sweeps in, wearing a full length dress with what appears to be a train.

Claire stares at her open mouthed. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!"

"Oh hello darlings. Oh gosh don't you both look gorgeous. You're very brave to be showing so much flesh, good for you!"

"Um, is that what you're - wearing? That dress?" Claire gives Godmother her best fiery look.

"Oh this? This is two dresses darling, Yes, I had my friend Olga the Romanian seamstress create this for me from a couple of things I had, sustainable fashion is the thing now you know and -"

"But it's - white" spluttered Fleabag.

"Oh no darling it's extract of ivory, not the same thing. At all".

Claire leans in to Fleabag and growls "do something".

"You go - I'll handle this." "Red wine anyone??"

__________________________________________________

Evening falls, and the newly married couple are doing the rounds of relatives and Harbots bigwigs. Fleabag surveys the scene from the top table and thinks how well it's all turned out for Claire. That's good, Someone should get their happy ending.

She takes her double G&T and strolls out into the gardens to the designated smoking area. This is no alleyway outside a restaurant, this is a proper oasis with tables, chairs and blankets. Just the place to hide out for a bit.

She settles in and lights a cigarette, blowing a long, sharp line of smoke into the air.

"Hey".

_What the fuck! If I didn't know any better I'd swear that was..._

She turns her head slowly and meets his eyes. Deep, brown, soulful. Yep it's him.

What is he doing here?

Fuck!


	2. Chapter 2

"Father!"

_Yeah it's him. What the hell?_

"What are you-?"

"Your sister invited me". 

"Oh. That was nice of her". She can't help the dripping sarcasm. 

Sorry didn't mean to....I thought I'd find you out here, I haven't been here long, just arrived...."You look - eh, you look - amazing".

She rolls her eyes. "This is a bit too much deja vu for me Father. You haven't come out here just to say that to me. What can I do for you?"

He laughs nervously and stares at his feet. "Claire called and she asked me to come along to the evening celebration and I thought, um...I wanted to see how you are".

She looks at him, steely eyed. Is this actually happening? He's wearing a very similar shirt to the one that night at dinner, the night they met. Is this a time loop??

Silence hangs between them. She feels uneasy. "Cigarette?" 

"Eh no thanks I don't actually smoke".

"But you...that night....oh. I see".

He smiles that mischievous half smile at her, the one that had caught her attention all those months ago in the alley way. Damn, damn, he could still make her smile back. And he could still give her butterflies. She looks away.

He clears his throat. "Listen, there are things to say...things you should know. That night, when I came to your flat, really what I wanted to say was..."

"Darling! There you are"! Fleabag looks up to see Belinda striding towards her, in a shiny business suit, clutching a large margarita. Belinda plants a full deep kiss on her lips and looks her up and down. "Hello gorgeous".

"Hi! Wow it's great to see you, I uh..."

"Looking hot I must say. Yes indeed. Maybe I'll be arsed tonight after all darling"!

"Um Belinda this is...Father -"

"Father? Oh you're a priest? How fun! Oh I'm sorry about the smut, it's just this little firecracker and I go way back! And she's looking like a Grecian goddess tonight don't you think"!

The priest blushes. "Well yeah she does I um.."

Belinda hugs Fleabag and plants another kiss on her cheek, "Right I'm off to hit the dance floor - I promised Klare I'd show him how to do the Macarena. Come find me later you sexy minx"?

She disappears and it's just the two of them again. 

Fleabag looks over at the increasingly shifty priest. "She's um, a friend..."

He giggles awkwardly. "It's ok I won't ask"! 

Another silence descends and he's just looking at her, with that helpless stare, like he wants to kiss her and run away at the same time. She lights another cigarette.

He takes a deep breath. "So um as I was saying, I just wanted to explain about ..um...that night and really the thing is.."

"Ah darling there you are". 

"Oh hi Dad you ok"?

"Yes yes. Oh Father! Hello. How lovely to see you. You having a nice eh....party.....shebang...evening?"

The priest looks embarrassed, like a teenager caught behind the bike sheds. "Yes um really nice thanks I eh..."

"Darling your stepmother is looking for you, I think she wants to present her.....uh..... gift to Claire and wants us all there so um when you're ready if you could eh...."

He looks at the priest and then back at Fleabag. "Are you ok sweetheart"?

"Yes I'm fine Dad. Honestly. You go back in. I'll be there in a sec".

Dad plods back inside, shooting the priest a knowing look as he passes.

"Wow it's like Grand Central station out here tonight" laughs the priest. "Maybe we should...I should..get to the point".

"Yeah. Maybe you should".

"Look I know you probably don't want to hear what I have to say, and I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable by being here...its just that -"

Fleabag is suddenly irritated. For six months this has been all she could think about. Seeing him again, talking to him again. But now he's here, it's not living up to the fantasy. And she's not in the mood to ease his conscience.

"What?" she snaps. "It's just that what? Look I'm sure you're feeling guilty and probably a bit lonely but I really don't have time for this".

"But I..."

"Look I'm fine. Thank you _Father_ but I'm really fine. It's done. It's over. Now I really should be getting back to my sisters wedding, and celebrating a couple that actually stands a chance". 

She stubs her cigarette out and marches back into the hotel, leaving him stunned and speechless. Its only when she's safely behind the door of the lavish ladies room that she allows the tears to come.

_____________________________________________

"Fancy a drink"? Fleabag pulls Belinda from the conga line and drags her to the bar. "2 tequilas please. And a bottle of champagne"."Fuck it"! 

"That's my girl" laughs Belinda, "Now it's a party"! 

Claire appears beside them. "There you are. Godmother wants to say something apparently. Christ"!

Fleabag shakes her head, "Yeah it's ok it's just your gift. But she wants to make an event of it"

"Right. Well don't get too drunk. Or say anything. Or do anything".

"Claire I intend to get completely fucked up. I've just sent a very hot priest away when I've got a perfectly good hotel room upstairs so allow me this ok"?

"Oh God. He turned up"?

"Yep. And now he's gone".

"Shit. I thought I was doing something nice. Sorry. Did it not go well"?

"No it fucking didn't" She leans over the bar. "2 more tequilas please".

Belinda leans in. "You've got a room here"?

"Down girl!". 

"Fair enough. Worth a try".

Claire looks over at the dancefloor, clearly irritated. "Who taught Klare to do Gangnam Style?"

Belinda flashes Fleabag a look and they giggle. 

"Giiiiiirls!!!" Godmother swoops on the small group, "Hello darlings. We're going to do the little gift now, are you ready?" She turns to Claire. "Now listen darling I don't want you to worry, almost no one has mentioned that you're wearing white for a second wedding, and certainly no one has said it's inappropriate so don't even think about it".

"I wasn't..."

"Right come along"!

Fleabag leans in to Belinda as she's dragged away. "hold my tequila, I'll be back. And we are going to paaaar-"

______________________________________________

The next thing Fleabag remembers is forcing her mascara crusted eyes open and blinking in the bright light of the morning, Her face is stuck to the pillow with.... is that...the remains of a cheeseburger? Ugh.

Flashbacks begin of tequila shots, lots of conga lines, Godmother presenting her self portrait to Claire on the stage at the wedding and........

She looks to her left. There's someone in the bed beside her. Oh shit. Who the hell is this?

_Please not the lawyer please not the lawyer..._

She pulls the sheet back. "Oh. Good morning darling".

"Belinda! Fuck how long have you been there?"

"All night. Don't you remember?"

"Oh Jesus we didn't? Did we??"

"God no darling". Belinda stretches out and looks at Fleabag sympathetically. "You needed a friend, not a shag. You said you didn't want to be alone and you'd had at least 5 litres of tequila, and then there was that thing you kept saying over and over.."

"What?"

"I love him, I still love him. Who is _he_ sweetie?"

Oh fuck. Fleabag lies back down and pulls the sheet over her face.

Belinda sighs. "Darling. I don't know what's going on, but whoever this _he_ is - go and find him. Sort it out. Life's too short. And it's only getting shorter, I should know."

"It's not that simple" comes the muffled reply.

"Right. So he's what, a serial killer?"

"No" "A total bastard?"

"No"

"A rotten lay?"

"NO" 

Belinda grabs the sheet and pulls it back, bringing her face up to Fleabag's. "Hear him out".

"He....hurt me...he left me...I don't know if I can..."

"Listen to me! It's not supposed to be easy! We all hurt each other, all the time, whether we mean to or not. The important thing is, when the real thing comes along, you've got to fight for it. You can't lie in bed covered in cheeseburger crying over what might have been. You need to go and see if you can fix it, see if he's worth it."

There's no point in arguing. She knows she's going to go and see him. She has to.

Fleabag nods.

"Yeah. Ok".


	3. Chapter 3

A week has passed and Fleabag is on her way to church. The one place she's not supposed to go, but it can't be helped. 

It's a bright sunny day. A bit like the day of the fete when it was all so exciting and they were flirting and there were arm touches and knuckle brushes and... no.

She didn't let herself think about things like that. Not any more. She would just go and see him now for closure. And nothing else.

He is at the top of the church talking to Pam when she walks in. As he turns and sees her an involuntary smile lights up his face, his eyes doing that crinkly thing that made her knees weak. In contrast to Pam, who shoots her a knowing glare.

He walks towards her quickly. "Hey".

"Hey".

"Are you..looking for me"?

"Well yes. I haven't converted to Catholicism yet. I haven't gone completely mad".

He giggles. His _laugh_. "Ok good um...just need to get changed and. .do you want to go for a drink or"?

"Yeah a drink would be fine. I'll wait for you outside".

He emerges 5 minutes later in civvies and she immediately feels that familiar zap through her veins. He looks gorgeous. Jeans and a sweater. Plum. Of course. 

"Hey. Thanks for waiting. Do you eh - do you want to walk or should we...?"

She feels for him, he's so nervous and unsure of himself. All she wants to do is throw herself on him, hold him, kiss him....and...well a few other things. 

"Yeah. Come on, let's walk".

They find a discreet pub a bit of a walk away and sit in a corner with some beers. They don't say anything for a long time and he's looking everywhere except at her.

She decides to go first. "I um..I'm sorry about the wedding, I was a bit harsh." .

"No no I shouldn't have just showed up like that. Not cool. I'm sorry. But it was..really good to see you".

His eyes flash up to meet hers.

 _Oh no oh shit no here we go. I cant go through this again_.

"Look what did you want to say - because to be honest if you're just going to tell me again about how much you love god and how I cant compete then -"

"No that's not what I'm going to say I just.."

"Or that we can't see each other ever again because you're the one who came to the hotel so -"

"No it's not that either."

"Well then what is it because I really think I deserve..."

"I wasn't entirely honest with you, and I wanted to tell you but the time was never right and..."

"Ok now I'm totally confused - why are we here Father, what could you possibly have to say that-"

"I was married. Before."

_What. The. Fuck._

"What"??

"I was married, it was a long time ago. Before this life obviously."

"Oh my god. Why didn't you tell.."

"I wanted to. I tried to. A few times. But things were already getting so...out of hand...and .. so, eh, well..... she passed away, a few years after we got married".

She definitely wasn't expecting this. She took a long chug of her beer and let out a long sigh. "Oh god. I don't know what to say. I'm uh...sorry". 

"It's ok. It was a while after...it happened that I found myself drawn to this life and you know I really did find a peace of sorts. I don't know if I ever really got over it..but my faith sort of got me through it and that's how it started........it wasn't an easy time......"

His shoulders are shaking quietly and his voice is breaking. "That whole thing at the bus stop you know.. I hadn't said I love you to anyone in a very long time and I thought that was all finished for me, I had this new life where I could use the love I had to help other people and...you know I was proud of that life, it was the right choice for me, and I had accepted I would never be married again, never be in love again...and then I met you. It scared me so much, the feelings I had for you. I couldn't risk losing everything again."

A solitary tear rolls down his cheek and she moves over to hug him. 

"I'm sorry" he says quietly. "I'm sorry for what I said but I thought maybe it would pass in time, but then it didn't and... it's such a mess."

"It didn't for me either".

"Really"?

She shakes her head slowly.

"God. Sorry". He wipes his eyes. 

She holds him for ages, just letting the information sink in. It all makes so much sense now.

He sits back and lets out a long slow breath. "Sorry for springing this on you. I could murder a proper drink".

"You sit there. I'll get us some tequila".

He nods. As she stands up he grabs her hand."It's really good to see you".

She smiles. In a compassionate way, but also with a real happiness at just being with him again. 

They sit and drink and talk for hours, him talking about his wife and her talking about her mum and Boo. 

He can't seem to stop talking now. "You know that night in the confessional, it was like you were speaking all the thoughts in my head. Like I felt guilty that I was starting to forget her. i had gone a bit wild after I lost her, drinking too much and hooking up with lots of people and .....And it was just easier in the end to choose a more....structured life. Or as you call it, being told what to do". 

He looks deep into her eyes. I felt so close to you then".

"Yeah we did get pretty close".

He laughs. "I've missed you".

"I've missed you too".

"Look I don't know where we can go from here, and I don't want to fuck things up any more than they are, but I'd like to be in your life in whatever way I can".

"I want that too. But I don't think I can just be friends. Not if you're going to wear that sweater".

"Hmmm. Well then you can't wear the jumpsuit. You know which one".

"Ha. I'm definitely wearing it then".

He smiles and shakes his head. 

They're holding hands, like they did at the bus stop, but this feels more hopeful, like it's the start of something and not the end.

He leans in and whispers to her.

"I love you. I do. And I really want to fucking kiss you".

"Here? In public?"

"Well we can go somewhere else if you like".

"Ok. Back to mine? But no bus stops this time. Or falling paintings".

"Deal. And we won't be interrupted by any gentleman callers?"

"I promise. No more interruptions".


End file.
